its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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