turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
