You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bring money and cleavage
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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