then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
