So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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