That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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