Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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