She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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