Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
