Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
