her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You ate ashes out of my bong
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
