Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
