I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Randomize
