I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
