Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Small penises have feelings too.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
