Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
