Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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