How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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