turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
