dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
