You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
