girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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