there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I love you. Go after that dick
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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