honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I need water and some morals
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
