I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
