Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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