come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
