i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
being pregnant is like rehab
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
