Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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