I skipped work to stalk him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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