Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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