He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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