Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
