There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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