if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
