the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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