I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
