I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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