just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
