We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
