He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
