I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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