Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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