So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
