u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
