we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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