So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
