she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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