I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
