So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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