butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
