I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
