I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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