Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
