if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize