i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
