It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
