I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
