I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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