his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
